Let me tell you about the number of times I have been asked this question as a woman-identified vegan. Let me tell you about how each person who has asked me this question is male-identified. Let me tell you about why this is utterly infuriating:
- It is heteronormative. Never assume heterosexuality. It is erasing and rude.
- It is sexist and misogynistic. Here I am trying to better the world in some small way, and all these people are worried about is the pleasure of the male-identified persons in my life. Because that’s what my worth amounts to in this patriarchal society of ours right? To what I can do for men.
- It is sex-negative. There is nothing wrong with not swallowing. There is nothing wrong with not giving head. To act like this would be the end of the world is shaming and contributes to rape culture, and sexual assault.
To summarize, this aggravating, seemingly “innocent” question is actually quite harmful and even dangerous.
It is not cute or clever.
So cut it the fuck out.